What have I become?

I think about my past a lot. A lot more than I probably should and it's not because I miss it or anything like that, I  think it's because my past has made me this slightly paranoid woman who has  little to no faith in humanity and that was never me growing up. When I hit adulthood that's when life really started biting me in the ass. (Excuse my french) but it's true.  That's typically how it happens though right?  You live at home with your parents or guardian and your only major concerns  and stresses were passing finals or whether or not you're going to that party Saturday night and if so what the hell you're going to wear,  oh and if your boyfriend is gong to text you back. As I grew up I noticed those stresses changing  from, i have to move out and get my own place to i have to pay this $200 water bill (true story) And my concerns were from does he really love me to, why do I keep making stupid decisions?  It's like,  as an adult, I found myself effing up a lot more than I did when I was younger.  I don't know, our past really does shape and mold us into who we are. Even when it comes to relationships. When we go through bad relationships it could really effect future relationships, good and bad.  I think that's one of my biggest problems, I'm always living in fear that I'm going to get hurt because I've been hurt. But I know we don't have to live life based on things that have happened in our past (if that makes any sense) lol i don't know,  i just want to be happy, and I am happy... when I'm not thinking about my past.

It's late,  I'm ranting #latenightthoughts

Well, that's all i have to offer you guys today from my personal experience to yours!

Much love